A year gone by. welcome 2013

Dear Pat,

In a few days it’ll be 4 years since we chatted.  I miss you.  We used to figure out life’s simplest problems,  world issues were brought down to size.   Crazy how fast time goes by.   I think I’ve had at least a dozen shots of Johnny Walker Red with each of your birthdays, celebrations and each January 5^th.   No, it has not gotten any better tasting.  J  If only you were here, I could avoid those shots. 

I thought I’d let you know with the end of this year a little bit about how the family is doing…Let me tell you this about that (as you would say)…

Your Bubs, Mom, Ginger – you would love her more now than ever before and be proud.   Mom has never stopped begin positive every day.   She has continued to be interested in everything and everyone who crosses her path, no surprise, right?   She has made her little house in Ojai a welcome home to us all, including her collection of unique friends and dogs and cats.   Mom had her knee replaced and bounced back from that, next month she’s getting her other shoulder done and then she’ll have one more knee.   I’m pretty sure she’ll reach Bionic Woman status with one more replacement.    In the meantime, she and I took a writing class earlier this year – we both wrote scripts (and are still working on them) but then recently Mom wrote her book, Flying Into the Sun, into a screenplay.   She’s determined to make sure I have a pool of projects to produce.   Now I have to do my part!   Mom and your Little Buddy Ramsey have been joined by Harry, a dog who started as a month or two stay and now a permanent resident.   The kittens, Leo and Johnny, are now cats and have settled in too.    Mom’s still addicted to books, facebook, has learned new games on Skype, takes classes with Adidam and so much more.    Eventually, when she’s ready, we will take a trip to Ajijic and New Hampshire!

Laurie is as busy as ever, zipping around, as you would expect, helping everybody, especially to get organized.    Her apartment’s rent went way up once Jack, her landlord died last year, so off she went to San Diego – she’s working with her friend Amy and in her off time is keeping an eye on Mom.    Every once in while she’ll sneak in a well deserved rest.   Belle is looking good despite her ailments, she’s got lots of cousins to deal with now that Laurie is living with Amy, sounds like they’re all getting along.  

Patrick turned 30 this year!  (Shhh, don’t say it too loud)  He has so many great ideas and inventions.   He is an amazing photographer.   He’s been gripping too, which has taken him to Alaska for one show and Nicaragua for another.   In between time, he’s got so many other projects happening.    He works with his dad too when not on some adventure.  Nixon is still bouncing around.

Tanya has been traveling out to California many times a year, earlier this year the whole Rinck family was here (that's the picture up top) and we all got together, fun times.   Of course she saved me on my 50^th by taking on the food for the party!    The Hamblin Road gang is doing fine and seems like they’ve had a lot of laughs.    Tom and Mom are competing for how many body parts they can get replaced.   And odd competition but they seem to be serious about it.    Phil and Jane say hello often and keep me up on the Rinck family news.  

Brittany has been traveling the USA with her nursing, she has friends everywhere.    One of these days her traveling nursing will bring her out here.    She’s got a boyfriend, Bill, who I’ve just met through facetime (yep, skype has competition) but he promises he’ll be out her to visit when her job does bring her out here.   They’ve been having a great time together.   Brittany is as amazing and beautiful and adventurous as ever.

Tyler has now lived in Bakersfield for over a year!   Who would have known that Bakersfield was going to be his new home?   But he’s been doing great.  He’s working for an oil company, learning multiple jobs, taking classes and plans on working his way up.   He’s riding a motorcycle that he looks pretty cool on, he met a girl and is taking things one day at a time.     He’s 21 already going on 22.

Connor is going to Bentley, playing football and continues to come up with money- making ideas.   One of them is going to fly and he’ll be on his way.   He’s going to be a very serious, smart businessman.   I’ve got my fingers crossed for him although he probably doesn’t need it.

I haven’t talked to Tim and Sally recently, I know the kids are growing up, Mom and Laurie can fill you in there.

Kim and the whole family were here to celebrate my 50^th with me, she and I are going to get together for fun soon.

Russ and Prish are taking care of Ojai and watch out for Mom.

Fortune and Kenny are as busy as ever.   Fortune with her teaching and traveling, Kenny with his art shows and both with music events and seems like so many other things.

Oh, one fun note, Marge, my elderly neighbor, is now 97, imagine that.   She’s feeling old.  J   But she’s funny, playing poker, she remembers how delighted you always were when you knew she was making cookies for you.  It's the little things folks remember the most.

And I am fine.   Ready for a new year.   I just got back from a two month job in Miami on a show called “Magic City”.  It came at just the right time.   It’s a cool show, I met a great new cast and crew and it was a perfect way to end the year.    It’s been a year of ups and downs as always but with my 50^th birthday celebration and ending with a show, it’s all good.   Keeping positive for next year.

I wish you were here with us and laughing into the new year.    It’s a rare day that you don’t come to mind for so many reasons.    Others have lost loved ones this year and it continues to remind me to appreciate the times we have now and to not put off something I really want to do.   

I’m happy for new friends, old friends and everything in between.    Happy New Year.  2013.    Obama is president again!  

Love you lots,

Xochi

PS  All my facts are based off of my memory so hopefully the family will add notes if edits need to be made.  xxoo

Happy Thanksgiving Pat. 2012

Well Hello Pat.    I haven't written in a while but not for any reason.   I talk about you often and think about you more, wishing you were here, thankful you were in my life as long as you were.

You know I've had a lot of time lately but then time goes by and I look back and wonder what I've done with all that free time.     And then just a few weeks ago, I got a call, packed up and a day later I was in Miami until Christmas.    I keep telling people of our Christmas in Coconut Grove, FL (isn't that right?) before we headed off to Abaco Island for "Day of the Dolphin".    That was a good Christmas to remember during one of those times at the dinner table you would say "Do you remember where you were last Christmas?"  Or 5 years ago.   Or 40 years ago?

I thought I would spend Thanksgiving by myself this year, here in Miami, as someone who just got dropped into this show, Magic City.   But then I got invited to the most wonderful Thanksgiving gathering.    I walked in to the Host greeting me with feathers on his head and offering up feathers to me or a pilgrim hat.    They were all cooking up a storm, a delightful group of guests were arriving.  I think you would have enjoyed it.   You'd especially would have loved the view, right there on the river, the 75 degrees and the food which was delicious!     I'm not describing it as well as it was but if you were to ask me "Where were you last Thanksgiving now", I'd definitely remember this one.    I told my hosts as much, they were like you and Mom were, inviting someone new into their house and making me feel at home.  

The other fun part was that meanwhile in Hollywood - another part of our family was gathered around another dinner table and in the North East yet another part was gathered around another dinner table.   We all connected throughout the day and you'd never know we weren't all together.

Perhaps you were at the 4th table with even more family.

Here's some of the family now!

Anyway, everyone here is fine, zig zagging around the states...no moss gathering on our family.

Love you lots,
Xochi

PS This was always true with you.   Always.

Warren

Dear Pat,

I've been putting off sending this note because it's sad news.   One of your pals is on his way to you.  In fact, by now, he's got to be done with all his paperwork and chatting up God, you're probably talking about old times right now.    Warren Bateman died July 15.    He sure was tough and got through so many close calls but this time he didn't stay.    He was funny and caring and checked up on me as often as he could.    The last time I saw him he showed me the way he kept count of all his walks around the yard, a contraption he set up for each time he got back to the garage.   It reminded me so much of your various inventions.    He never stopped telling stories about you guys and all the great times and adventures you had together.    The Batemans are and always will be an extension of our family.    They've always included me in their family get togethers, making sure I was always invited, especially when I was the only Blymyer on the west coast.    Guess that's what real friendship is all about, watching out for each other.   Warren's funeral is September 1st in Carpinteria so we will all get together then.  (1p Carpinteria Community Church)

I've also put this off because I've been working lots of hours and haven't made the time.   Silly me, I thought working hard and doing my best would assure me my place in this world but it seems that's not true.    Mom is disappointed by how people are treated in our business and easily cast away and you would be too.    The man who took my job away was even telling me how wonderful you were and then turns around and tells someone else I'm not the right person for the job.   Not that I was doing anything wrong, I just wasn't the right man for this position. 

Next weekend I'm having a 50th birthday circus celebration, bringing back the big summer bbq.   I think you would have liked to be here.   All the family that can will be here along with many of the Batemans and of course lots of friends new and old.   

Hope you and Warren have a good reunion and tell lets of good stories.   Miss you and love you lots.

Xochi

Mom's Eclipse Photos For you, May 20th, 2012 Eve

Hi Pat - Here's some of the pictures Mom took tonight.  She's quite the photographer these days (along with getting them on the computer AND emailing them!)

Quite a neat lighting job you did there.

Mom spent the evening with Norman and Tanya Lang.  Sounds like they had quite a nice time celebrating your birthday and the eclipse!   

xxoo

Happy Birthday Pat - May 20, 2012

Happy Birthday to you Pat!

I'm not sure if it's you or not but I'd like to think since it's your birthday that they assigned you the task of lighting for the eclipse this afternoon.   Who else could take on such a unique lighting set up, right?   They probably weren't prepared for all the little extension cords and cables hanging around but the end result is magnificent!

I met a guy last week, an assistant director originally from Texas.   I didn't think that we had ever met but as we talked about past shows, I mentioned "Leap of Faith" and he said "I Worked on That!  My first show."   It really was his first show working in Groom, Texas as an extra and then a craft service helper.   Anyway, I asked him, as I always do, if he knew you.   He said "Of course I do, he's the one who always changed his shoes and said it was important!".    That was 20 years ago.   You are memorable no matter what the reason.   Do you remember on that show on my birthday, we were in Dallas on the big stage,  you had the painter put up a banner in that huge entryway that said "Happy Birthday Xochi"?   It made me feel very important.   I still have that.

Another thing that happened last week and Mom suspects it might have been you.   I was sleeping.  Or trying to sleep one night and at 1:30A someone walked into my room and stood by my bedside.  That someone seemed to want to talk to me.   Now these past few weeks I've had a lot going on in my house.  The kitchen flooded so the floors were pulled up all through the house, all my stuff has been packed out to somewhere down the road and there have been people in here constantly doing some form of construction and always leaving a mess.   Many leave "The bitterness of poor quality..." although not necessarily at a low price.    I'm hoping that you were there to tell me everything will be alright.   Help me not go crazy.  Ha.   I could use a few laughs with you right about now.

I was thinking today that you will remain forever young.   I went to see "Dark Shadows" today and Mom's favorite Johnny Depp is the vampire,  he remains forever young for a slightly different reason.  

Thinking of you today with lots of love.   I'm celebrating down here.   I see you forever young whistling down the road with a little skip in your step - I'm trying to catch up!  

Lots of love,
Xochi

Islands and Happy St. Patrick's Day, Pat!

Hi Pat!

Happy St. Patrick's Day.

Do you know, it's really pretty cool, that we've been to many different islands together?

I was thinking the other day that this is about the time of year you, Mom and I went off to Catalina Island to work on "No Secrets". It was my first job on a movie, standing in for one of the kids. It was almost like our own island since it was an off time for tourist. We usually had a grilled cheese and chocolate malt on the dock for breakfast and then walked to work wherever the location was that day. All the families came to visit and it was almost hard to remember that we weren't on vacation but location!

Going back to when I was a kid, when I was about 9, 1972, you did "Day of the Dolphin" and off we all went to the Bahama Islands and there we were on Treasure Key for 3 months in the "winter". Tanya and I went to school at the 3 room schoolhouse where we had to say the Lord's Prayer every morning and on certain days of the week my 3rd-4th-5th grade class of 10 students went off to tennis lessons. We hitchhiked to school hoping for rides on golf carts. On other days we would all go to the Conch Shell that was right on the water.

A few years later, 1976, we spent the summer in the Dominican Republic when you worked on "The Sorcerer". While you were working, our days were spent by the pool or at the beach where the pigs also sunbathed. We had so many nights of strolling down the street singing songs. Dinner with the violin player serenading our table. We all had 4th of July at the Embassy. Every once in a while we got to go to visit the set and we'd get to ride the helicopter into the jungle.

Meanwhile, Mom got a job on "The Deep" and headed off to a different island for a few weeks. At the end of the summer while you headed off to the next location, Mom and us went to meet her new friends on a tug boat and staying on the boat, we stayed near Bimini Island for a few days.

There were so many other places. It really was the best thing ever going on location. We were all together and had so many adventures.

I love you and thank you and Mom for giving us such a colorful, adventurous childhood. How lucky were we?

Love and miss you lots,

Xochi

It's National Kazoo Day Pat!

Check this out Pat -

Time for us all to pull our kazoos out and play a tune today.

xxoo

National Kazoo Day

January 28, 2012

National Kazoo Week - January 23-29, 2012

The State of the Kazoo 2012
by
Rick Hubbard

National Kazoo Day 2012 may be celebrated on Thursday, Jan. 26th which is the fourth Thursday of January or it may be celebrated on January 28, or any other day during that period deemed convenient by kazooists. In fact, many kazoo players celebrate the kazoo for the entire last week of January each year.

May you all enjoy a HAPPY NEW KAZOO YEAR!

This year we commemorate the 162nd birthday of the Kazoo --
an American instrument invented in the 1840s in Macon, GA. Legend tell us the kazoo was invented by collaboration of Alabama Vest (American black) and Thaddeus Von Clegg (German-American clockmaker).

Keep Me In Your Heart for a While - New Year's 2012

Dear Pat,

I was walking this afternoon past a store and a lady about my age came out holding hands with a man about 80 years old...as they walked in front of me, he turned, smiled broadly and let me walk past. As I did she seemed to need to explain (Dad may be fading) and said "Dad is still a gentleman, he likes to let the ladies go first and I turned to look and smile at him once again and he still had the biggest grin on his face and they continued to hold hands as they walked along. It was perfect to see them.

I was listening to a song today that made me think of you and our time together. It's called "Keep me in your heart for a while". It's both a sad and happy song and for certain, I've kept you in my heart as I hope you have me.

It's been almost three years since I talked to you and saw you and I miss you just as much on days like today. But I know I had what these two today have. As I looked through my pictures, I'm reminded.

Here's the words to the song "Keep me in your heart for awhile"

Shadows are falling and I'm running out of breath
Keep me in your heart for awhile

If I leave you it doesn't mean I love you any less
Keep me in your heart for awhile

When you get up in the morning and you see that crazy sun
Keep me in your heart for while

There's a train leaving nightly called when all is said and done
Keep me in your heart for while

Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-li-li-lo
Keep me in your heart for while

Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-li-li-lo
Keep me in your heart for while

Sometimes when you're doing simple things around the house
Maybe you'll think of me and smile

You know I'm tied to you like the buttons on your blouse
Keep me in your heart for while

Hold me in your thoughts, take me to your dreams
Touch me as I fall into view
When the winter comes keep the fires lit
And I will be right next to you

Engine driver's headed north to Pleasant Stream
Keep me in your heart for while

These wheels keep turning but they're running out of steam
Keep me in your heart for while

Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-li-li-lo
Keep me in your heart for while

Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-li-li-lo
Keep me in your heart for while

Keep me in your heart for while


I tip my hat to you my very best friend and father. Love to you as 2012 begins.

Miss you,

Xochi

Thanksgiving 2011

Hi Pat,

Thanksgiving this year was a gathering of the Blymyer, Bates, Rinck, Baggerly and Zuckerman clans...from Waltham, Tucson, Hermosa Beach, Venice, Hollywood, Ojai and North Hollywood (I lucked out cause we met in Sherman Oaks). We had a great dinner, some laughs and some reflecting on years gone by.

As always, when bringing up Thanksgivings from the past, the ole tofurkey story was told, one of our favorite tortured Thanksgiving afternoons. It all started when Laurie's friend invited you, me, Laurie and Patrick to dinner. We arrived in time to visit and share a drink and a few snacks but were looking forward to our meal. You, Pat, being the vegetarian had requested to try the Tofurkey, the rest of us thought that would be disgusting and would be having the regular turkey. Well, many hours later...I'm talking many hours later...Laurie's friend was drunk, our turkey was still raw and you were happily eating your Tofurkey with it's little cut out leg. It was a very long afternoon. There's a lot more to the story but Patrick and I especially remember the three of us planning our escape unsuccessfully.

You were missed here at the table. I'd love to be sharing a Tofurkey with you right now, even if it is gross.

Lots of love,

Xochi

Gaffer in his chair.

Hello Pat!

How are you? I got a reminder last night when I met with an old friend of yours, Anthony. He truly admired you and your encouraging ways. He said you had a way to talk to others that always helped them over the bump in their path without making a big deal about it. He reminded me how you were so smart but in the disguise of someone who was silly and kind - but always encouraging to those who could use an extra hand. A word that made life just a little better for that moment.

As I was talking about what my future might be, to get it moving forward, he was mentioning that I certainly had a wonderful pied piper to follow...and that is you.

I don't know, maybe that why I'm able to be awake at 6A this morning without feeling tired?

Mom and I are moving forward, rewriting "The Inn" and "A Disturbing Presence" - I read the other day a poster that you'd like. It says "If you don't go after what you want, you'll never have it. If you don't ask, the answer is always no. If you don't step forward, you're always in the same place." Learning to ask. It ain't easy! And just plain trying to learn new things, like writing, producing! Gotta Grin Pictures...what do you think?

Let's see...my show I was on was cancelled but was fun while it lasted...you would have loved Gio, the DP. He was a gaffer...every once in a while when something was done that was not even close to what he wanted, he would look over to me and say "Your dad would be horrified right now". It was pretty funny. I'll look forward to working with him on another show.

Mom is great up in Ojai...she had a surprise visit by Norman Lang the other day who now also lives in Ojai...the laughed and laughed as you can imagine.

Moving forward, asking, going after it...following the pied piper who is you, Pat.

Love,
Xochi

By the way, this picture was on the back patio in Ajijic, Mexico - Mom editing her book and Pat I think you were telling us what the birds were talking about...some gossip probably.

Thank for the Birthday gifts Pat. xxoo

Dear Pat,

I received in the mail today this letter you once wrote to Prish and Russ. I can read your writing but if others cannot, here’s what you wrote so long ago, it’s the perfect birthday gift:

“Howdy you all,

Here’s the dealee bob – Hope all is well. It is sure good to get a little work, this has been about the slowest year work that I can remember. Hopefully I can work from now till the end of the year and then some to make up for it. For now, it’s one day at a time. In fact, that’s all we ever have anyway and if we learn to live that way we are much better off. I’ll talk 2U or CU soon. Duutz.” (One of Pat’s many alias’)

Wow…if that wasn’t signed Duutz, that letter could have been written by me BECAUSE Here’s the dealee bob…

I did finally land a show last month as a 1^st AD called Free Agents (after about the slowest year of work I can remember, except for the year before), it’s a comedy, I think you’d have fun on this set…and you know what, it has not only been exactly what I needed, it’s been such a pleasure meeting more people with more stories for me. When they learn I am a Blymyer, they smile and welcome me with open arms. How great is that to be greeted by strangers as though they’ve known me all my life? And you know what? They have known of me all my life because of you.

The gifts of memories keep on coming.

First my producer…he made the connection in my interview and he smiled and said something like “Wow, so you’re a Blymyer, Pat was one of the best”. He calls me “Blymyer” every once in a while.

Then there is Austin, our Transportation Coordinator. He said “Let me tell you a little story…we were shooting in Lake Piru and one day at lunch, Pat came out of a local bar…and he said ‘I just bought this bar!’ So Austin, knowing Pat had had quite a few drinks, found the location manager and explained what had transpired…apparently, with a little investigation, he found out that Pat had written a $25,000.00 check to the bar owner as a down payment on the bar! We let Pat sweat it out for a couple days and then the location manager gave him back his check and said they deal had been called off!” He wasn’t sure if Mom ever knew and Austin says he has more stories. I’ll have to get from him sometime.

And then there is Joy, the hairdresser…her face also lit up when she found out that I was Ginger and Pat’s daughter. She’s was so happy! She immediately started to describe this invention that you had shown her one day on the set. She said there was this box and it was something you screamed into and she almost remembered the name of it, she was describing it to all the people around us and telling them about you…it was the ITR she was describing, the Inaudible Tension Reliever!

And then I received this email just the other day from Robert, a 1^st AD that I finally met last year and got to work for a few weeks with…he talked fondly of you and said one day he’d write me a story about you for me. Little did I know, his story was about you talking about me to him too. Here it is:

“I had the pleasure of working with Pat a few years ago. Though his weathered visage gave the impression of the usual hardened and jaded crew member, Pat never ceased to surprise and amaze me with his sensitivity and insight.

He mentioned he had a daughter who was an A.D. I braced myself for a gratuitous solicitation but it never came. He said she was really one of the best and that I should meet her. Then he paused, as if reflecting on how proud he was of her and how much he cared for her. I remember him in that moment of reflection. Then he looked up and said, "Yeah, she's great." and carried on with his work.

Since then I've followed Xochi's career trying several times to hire her but it seems the best are never available. I finally succeeded and we worked together briefly on an ill-fated project. In that short time I came to appreciate her calm, thoughtful and cheerful demeanor. Pat was right. She's the best. She's a Blymyer. I look forward to working with her again.

Robert “

Wow…I know you loved me but to hear someone else tell me how much he knew you cared for me, who remembers from so many years ago how you described me, it’s a true gift you left for me, really.

I’m proud to be a Blymyer.

You know, it’s my birthday or birth week as you thought we should have more than a day and I think this new year is going to be a truly amazing one.

I’ve thought about you more than ever these past few weeks, how could I not, you are everywhere! How lucky am I to always cross paths with those who have crossed yours?

Of course, that’s not the end of today’s note…a couple more tidbits.

I spent time with one of your best pals last weekend, Warren…and the Bateman family, yet more of our extended family.

And Mom is almost ready to run her marathon (okay, maybe just ready to take a nice long walk with Ramsey) after her knee surgery! I can hear you say “Bubbs, you are amazing”. You’d be very proud of how well she’s doing.

Love you Pat. And thank you. One day at a time.

Xochi

8/17/11

Happy Father's Day Pat. 2011

Hi Pat and Happy Father's Day.

Just recently we got to watch a DVD of Tom and Tanya's wedding (Danielle found it in a box full of memories). It was just their anniversary the other day. The wedding DVD was filled with not only some great 80's outfits and hairdos but with so many Father moments. You walked Tanya down the aisle and gave her away, you danced the father/daughter dance, subjected yourself to many, many photos and looked very handsome in your tuxedo - even with your sneakers on... of course you were really the most practical shoe wise as the ground was damp and we all had mud on our dress shoes!

As we watched, we remembered. Thank you for all the father moments. There are far too many to ever list.

Love you and miss you. Happy Father's Day.

Love,

Xochi

Happy Birthday Pat, May 20th, 2011

Dear Pat,

Happy Birthday to you. It's going to be a beautiful day here, perfect for a birthday walk. Thinking about you today as I do each day and hoping you're laughing.

Never short on stories about you but seem to be short on words today.

"Be brief", as you might say if I were on the phone with you.

Happy Birthday, love you lots.

Xochi

Fax & Note Man

So, I was going through a box in the attic and came across a stack of faxes & notes from Pat. Funny. There's a reason I saved many of his notes. Mostly, they made me smile and still do. His handwriting was one of a kind. When we both had fax machines, he loved to fax jokes, notes, sometimes it was truly just to say "I love you" and send me a quote to remember. As you can see here, this was one of his original aliases, Otto. If he stopped by my house, he'd always leave a note. He made endless lists and then loved scratching out things he had accomplished...and then he'd make another list. ha.

So Pat, thanks for all the notes. Love you lots.

Xochi

Happy St. Patrick's Day 2011

Happy St. Patrick's Day, Pat.
Missing you on this beautiful spring day.
Love, Xochi

Happy Valentine's Day Mom and Pat

Hi Pat,

Happy Valentine's Day. I love this Skype picture of you and Mom. You two were always so silly trying to fit in to the picture when we talked. Fun to catch a few of those moments!

As I've written before, you always did cute special things, it didn't have to be Valentine's day. Mom will have her walk-in bathtub ready at her house in a few days - imagine Mom without a hot bath for almost two years! Often there were the evenings that you would run the bath for her and sometimes you would add rose petals to float or bubbles and that glass of wine. Just because. Pretty neat. You may not be here for the christening of this bathtub but Mom will surely think of you when she's soaking in the bubbles.

So, here's wishing you many rose petals on your walking path today. Don't slip.

Love,

Xochi

Two Years Ago - January 5, 2009

Hi Pat,

It's hard to believe it's been two years since we spoke. Although I've had conversations with you in my head many times. You've been missed. I can hear you deny that but it's true.

You'll be happy to know that Mom is doing amazing. Despite her aches and pains and eye problems, she has learned her new Mac computer, been writing away on a script for The Inn, been blogging, facebooking, keeping up her place in Ojai and hanging out with Ramsey. She gets on the road when she needs to, would love to have you here to cook for again as you appreciated those meals the most but all in all, it's good.

This is what Mom/Bubbs/Ging wrote for you today:

"You have always been, are now, and always will be. There has never been a time when you were not - nor will there ever be such a time. Thinking about Pat yesterday and today. It is a mystery isn't it? When I think, I shed a few tears and that feels okay. Even though time has passed there are also times when we all miss Pat. It is nice that he left so much love of himself behind. Love Mom"

I'm not sure what you'd think of where I am in life right now. Limbo it seems. Each time an opportunity has come along this past year, it has evaporated. I try to come up with advice that you might tell me but haven't yet figured it out what you'd say. I do know you'd tell me to walk on it and then we'd talk it out. Perhaps it's time for a long walk in honor of you.

With the new year, we'll continue to tell stories that make us laugh and remember you, you're never far no matter where you are.

Love you.

Xochi

Today's the Day - Birthday of Another Kind

Hi Pat,

Today's your birthday. Your other birthday, that is. I think. Funny, I always thought of this day but I'd either be a day late or a day early calling. But you did not ever forget. It was huge. This was the day that you decided to stop drinking. This could mark 25 years ago?

It was a proud day. To know that you accomplished something so difficult and you stuck by your decision for the rest of your life. Now, you did have other addictions...like walking every day...and reading books...and drinking water...and whistling...and laughing. Just awful stuff. Oh, and chopping up your salads.

I miss your calls to remind me. Even if I don't need reminding.

I just plain miss you.

Love,
Xochi

Happy Thanksgiving, 2010

Dear Pat,

Look, your pal Colleen decorated your bench for the holidays. Thanksgiving is tomorrow and everyone is giving thanks to those people in our lives and all the good things we have. I remember most holidays we had a family dinner one of the questions you would ask is "Does anyone remember where we were last year? Or the year before?" Funny how you could always remember going back for years.

I've only worked a handful of days this year, I'm sorry to say, but the good news is, each of those days have been on different shows and each new show there is always, always someone who remembers you. The thing is, these folks don't Just remember you, they always have a great story. And they smile, and they laugh and sometimes they say you changed their life or helped them out of a confusing time in their life or were the person who was wise and gave them just what they needed. Or they just learned from watching you be so full of life.

These people remember you as someone they are thankful for knowing. They have made a point of finding me and introducing themselves when they realize I am a Blymyer to tell me about you. Some have not heard your name for years, but their stories they tell are as though it was just the other day. You made a lasting imprint on their memories. I am thankful for meeting them every time I go to a day of work because I keep meeting new people and hear their memories.

And that's what I love about show biz. That we were in it together.

Thanks Pat. We'll be giving thanks for having you in our lives.

Love,

Xochi

Pat, you are Memorable

Hi Pat,

My friend Teri sent me her son's essay that he wrote last year. Joey's assignment was to write about an event that has influenced his life. He was 15 when he went to your Hollywood Memorial last spring. He hadn't ever met you but my friend Teri, his mom, and the whole family attended. He wrote this in December 2009.

"My Personal Experience" by Joey Prata


My life is full of experiences that have both influenced me and made who I am today. Most of them being good, some of them not so much. But there is one that stands out among the rest of the events and that one would have to be a memorial service I went to over the 2009 spring break. As grim as it may sound, it was actually one of the most joyful mornings I have ever been to. It was the memorial service of a man named Pat Blighmer (ha).

Pat died an old retired light technician for the movie industry. He was married and had lived a long happy life with his friends and family. Some people could say Pat was never ungrateful for the things he did in his day to day life. In fact, Pat was probably the happiest man to walk on this planet. He was known for his silly ways and creative thinking by all who knew him. He played the kazoo and had a favorite top hat that he wore whenever he felt like acting fancy or when he wanted to make someone smile. He came up with ingenious ideas, such as the frustration box. The frustration box was a simple wooden box with a hole drilled into one side. You could scream into it and let frustration die inside. Pat was always the one with the laughs.

Personally, I never actually met this man. I was only brought to the memorial service for him after he had died. My parents told me to dress in shorts and a Hawaiian shirt because we were going to mourn a dead guy and I was struck confused at such a situation. But when I arrived at the service, I saw at least seventy people, all working in some form of the movie industry, dressed in shorts with tall socks and Hawaiian shirts. No one was dressed in dark colors, everyone dressed in bright colors, smiling and having a good time. The only people crying were Pat's wife and 2 daughters. Besides them everyone had dry eyes and gleaming faces. It was as if he was there with them talking about all the fun they had way back when.

The memorial itself was a party to be had. It took place outside in the sun underneath the shady trees on a slightly cloudy day. Exactly what he asked for. The people were all sad but showed only happiness in their faces and hearts.

The memorial began with a video collage of pictures of Pat throughout his life and stopped and started every time people came up to talk. The pictures showed Pat doing crazy things like plowing the snow in shorts and posing with Arnold Schwarzenegger on set and Pat just being Pat.
It was uplifting and almost inspirational to watch. Such a life lived. When people went up to speak, they shared funny stories of Pat and crazy experiences they had with him and how much a difference he made to their lives and how they would keep them in their hearts forever and ever. They told everyone how amazing of a man Pat was and how great of a memory we will have of him.

Sitting there watching all of this, I was almost jealous that I never got a chance to meet this man. But in the end, I got to live his life for an hour or two and saw how great life can be. Pat was an alcoholic for a little time in his life but got over that and lived a happy life. Even through all the crap of life, where it is hard to find the light of joy with all the day to day battles we face, this man discovered the joy and never lost it. he treated each day like a great one, I was told, and after hearing that, that was exactly how I wanted to live my life.

Each day a new page in a blank book which is mine to fill with whatever I want. To be myself and be happy with what I can do. To say "I want to live a life like Pat Blighmer and enjoy life to the fullest". That man is the most influential part of my life.

-----

Pretty Cool, right?

Love,
Xochi

Pat, what it be?

Hello Pat,

We've been putting together a show called "The Inn". As Mom, Patrick and I come up with ideas, we don't have to actually make anything up! There are so many, many incidents, stories, moments that we have remembered. They make us laugh. Although I'm not so sure that the folks who see our show will believe the stories are true. We'll have to add that to the end...all events are true!

Patrick and I and a couple friends are going to shoot up in Eaton next weekend...we thought why not go up and film and have a quick visit too. It'll be fun and we hope to put together a cool preview of what we'd like to create.

Anyhoo...love you, will love being up in Snowville...and I know will be thinking of you more than ever.

Lots of love,
Xochi

Sunday Afternoon Skype to Pat

Nothing Like a nice long Skype chat.

Happy Father's Day - 2010

Dear Pat,
It's been a long time since we spent a Father's Day together but I don't think the one day covered all the thanks I have for you being my dad. Every day deserved a thanks. Sure would be nice to have you here, I could use your help reasoning as to why life is like it is right now and to go over the pros and cons. But I still try to think of what you might say to me. Feel free to try to get your point across from where you are now.

I spoke to a friend of mine the other day who recently lost a loved one, she was worried that he would be forgotten. I've had that same thought but realize that it's not possible, not ever. Besides my own memories, there are so many other people who pop in with a crystal clear moment in time that you put there for them being you.

I think I've posted some of the pictures of our Digby, Nova Scotia family vacation before, but I was looking through some pictures, we had so many family moments that week. I looked through the pictures and laughed at what fun we all had. We didn't do anything big or expensive, we just walked here and there, played games, took pictures, sat and had many meals of course. You bought us all ice cream and baseball hats, we investigated why things were the way they were, pondered the mysteries of life in Digby. That was just a small representation of the times we had together, quality moments.

You listened, you really listened. You didn't put forth your opinions to me until you had the facts and then asked permission to tell me what you thought. You were so smart about the movie business too. I could really use your help to figure out what is going on now, where did I make the wrong turn and how do I get back.

Thanks Pat for being my dad, my friend, my whateveritisineededatthetime.

We all miss you and wish you a happy father's day. I'm having an ice cream in your honor and will probably say "mmm, mmm, mmm, how do they make that taste soooo good".



Love you lots,

Xochi

Happy Father's Day 2010