Saturday, October 2, 2010

Pat, you are Memorable


Hi Pat,

My friend Teri sent me her son's essay that he wrote last year. Joey's assignment was to write about an event that has influenced his life. He was 15 when he went to your Hollywood Memorial last spring. He hadn't ever met you but my friend Teri, his mom, and the whole family attended. He wrote this in December 2009.

"My Personal Experience" by Joey Prata


My life is full of experiences that have both influenced me and made who I am today. Most of them being good, some of them not so much. But there is one that stands out among the rest of the events and that one would have to be a memorial service I went to over the 2009 spring break. As grim as it may sound, it was actually one of the most joyful mornings I have ever been to. It was the memorial service of a man named Pat Blighmer (ha).

Pat died an old retired light technician for the movie industry. He was married and had lived a long happy life with his friends and family. Some people could say Pat was never ungrateful for the things he did in his day to day life. In fact, Pat was probably the happiest man to walk on this planet. He was known for his silly ways and creative thinking by all who knew him. He played the kazoo and had a favorite top hat that he wore whenever he felt like acting fancy or when he wanted to make someone smile. He came up with ingenious ideas, such as the frustration box. The frustration box was a simple wooden box with a hole drilled into one side. You could scream into it and let frustration die inside. Pat was always the one with the laughs.

Personally, I never actually met this man. I was only brought to the memorial service for him after he had died. My parents told me to dress in shorts and a Hawaiian shirt because we were going to mourn a dead guy and I was struck confused at such a situation. But when I arrived at the service, I saw at least seventy people, all working in some form of the movie industry, dressed in shorts with tall socks and Hawaiian shirts. No one was dressed in dark colors, everyone dressed in bright colors, smiling and having a good time. The only people crying were Pat's wife and 2 daughters. Besides them everyone had dry eyes and gleaming faces. It was as if he was there with them talking about all the fun they had way back when.

The memorial itself was a party to be had. It took place outside in the sun underneath the shady trees on a slightly cloudy day. Exactly what he asked for. The people were all sad but showed only happiness in their faces and hearts.

The memorial began with a video collage of pictures of Pat throughout his life and stopped and started every time people came up to talk. The pictures showed Pat doing crazy things like plowing the snow in shorts and posing with Arnold Schwarzenegger on set and Pat just being Pat.
It was uplifting and almost inspirational to watch. Such a life lived. When people went up to speak, they shared funny stories of Pat and crazy experiences they had with him and how much a difference he made to their lives and how they would keep them in their hearts forever and ever. They told everyone how amazing of a man Pat was and how great of a memory we will have of him.

Sitting there watching all of this, I was almost jealous that I never got a chance to meet this man. But in the end, I got to live his life for an hour or two and saw how great life can be. Pat was an alcoholic for a little time in his life but got over that and lived a happy life. Even through all the crap of life, where it is hard to find the light of joy with all the day to day battles we face, this man discovered the joy and never lost it. he treated each day like a great one, I was told, and after hearing that, that was exactly how I wanted to live my life.

Each day a new page in a blank book which is mine to fill with whatever I want. To be myself and be happy with what I can do. To say "I want to live a life like Pat Blighmer and enjoy life to the fullest". That man is the most influential part of my life.

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Pretty Cool, right?

Love,
Xochi

3 comments:

  1. Facebook Comments:

    Ginger Sugar Blymyer
    Boy does this bring happy tears to my eyes.

    Jessica Daigle
    Awww what an amazing and touching tribute. Through the years, there hasn't been many who have come into my life that haven't heard your name Ginger...You've been in short stories I've written and blog intros, explaining why I write and who has inspired me. You were the one who told me to keep writing, and even though it was nearly 20 years ago, I am still listening to all of those wise pearls of wisdom you blessed me with on the couch at J.O.P. ♥

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    Ginger Sugar Blymyer
    Thanks so much Jessica. I guess things happen we never know about so I am happy about the way I have lived my life hearing from you how it affected you. I guess that is the thing about setting the example. We often don't. Then also what we do speaks much louder than our words. Thanks again. Love you

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    Susan Bruce
    How great that this young man wrote about this, and shared it with you. He really captured a lot about Pat, which is pretty remarkable, given he'd never met him. I can almost see Pat smiling at me.

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    Jessica Daigle
    Sweetie, words can't do justice to the profound impact you have had on my life. You enveloped me into your life and taught me about friendship, love and trust- things I couldn't learn at home. You taught me to believe in my inner voice, and... to follow my dreams. You made a difference, not just in my life, but in my children's lives because I wouldn't be the woman and mother I am today had it not been for you. You took a broken little girl and showed her how to find her pieces and become whole- in spite of it all. ♥ Love you soooo much. I always have, and I always will.
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    Irene Bradle
    What a wonderful story Ginger, and what a positive influence your husband had on this young man, even though he never met him personally. Very touching.

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    Dave Hodgdon
    Sure nipped him in the bud. Certainly brought Pat to life. The service must have been unbelievable, as was Pat. You said you were looking for help with your writings, producers etc. sounds like this kid has talent.

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    Ginger Sugar Blymyer
    You are right Dave. Xochi knows his mom and probably him too. He is so observant, and it remarkable how he can express how he and others feel. :)


    Missy Hooton
    Wow... feel like I was there. And what a picture of an amazing man! I wish that I could have known him too ... Thank you for sharing this with us, Ginger.


    Christiane Weber
    Thank you for sharing this, Ginger. What a wonderful story.#

    Lou DoggieBoutique K
    it is lovely Ginger


    Darshana Ji Lovely Ginger :)
    8 hours ago · LikeUnlike
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    Bob Olivieri Thanks for sharing this wonderful letter Ginger and Xochi. The young man who wrote it learned a great lesson from Pat's life-Appreciation, that is real nice. :)
    7 hours ago · LikeUnlike
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    Nancy E. Williams
    That was just incredible!!! I loved it and he captured the essence of Pat perfectly. What a delight, many thanks.

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  3. I was just looking through some boxes I need to sort out. I found Xochi's Christmas Card from 2008. It instantly made me realize how quickly our lives can change. At the moment she wrote that,all seemed well, we were all happy and Xochi was planning to come see us soon. And then in an instant it all changed and the life as we knew it disappeared. I love letters like Joey wrote. It brings back so much of the essence of Pat. It is nearly two years now since he is gone and there is a distance from the life with him. Time heals and leaves me with gratitude for knowing Pat and spending forty years with him. I don't really try to imagine what our lives would have been like now. I do sometimes think about how much he would have loved to live in Ojai where I do now. There are so many places to walk. I have come to feel that Pat gave all he had to give us and then left because he was weary. I suppose we all do that, but he did it in a more dramatic way. So nice to think he is still inspiring others. Men always liked him, He did things they wouldn't. Like he loved the brightly colored little bifocal glasses. Pink with white spots. Those always got a laugh. At least he left us with so many great memories. We are lucky.

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