Today's the Day - Birthday of Another Kind

Hi Pat,

Today's your birthday. Your other birthday, that is. I think. Funny, I always thought of this day but I'd either be a day late or a day early calling. But you did not ever forget. It was huge. This was the day that you decided to stop drinking. This could mark 25 years ago?

It was a proud day. To know that you accomplished something so difficult and you stuck by your decision for the rest of your life. Now, you did have other addictions...like walking every day...and reading books...and drinking water...and whistling...and laughing. Just awful stuff. Oh, and chopping up your salads.

I miss your calls to remind me. Even if I don't need reminding.

I just plain miss you.

Love,
Xochi

Happy Thanksgiving, 2010

Dear Pat,

Look, your pal Colleen decorated your bench for the holidays. Thanksgiving is tomorrow and everyone is giving thanks to those people in our lives and all the good things we have. I remember most holidays we had a family dinner one of the questions you would ask is "Does anyone remember where we were last year? Or the year before?" Funny how you could always remember going back for years.

I've only worked a handful of days this year, I'm sorry to say, but the good news is, each of those days have been on different shows and each new show there is always, always someone who remembers you. The thing is, these folks don't Just remember you, they always have a great story. And they smile, and they laugh and sometimes they say you changed their life or helped them out of a confusing time in their life or were the person who was wise and gave them just what they needed. Or they just learned from watching you be so full of life.

These people remember you as someone they are thankful for knowing. They have made a point of finding me and introducing themselves when they realize I am a Blymyer to tell me about you. Some have not heard your name for years, but their stories they tell are as though it was just the other day. You made a lasting imprint on their memories. I am thankful for meeting them every time I go to a day of work because I keep meeting new people and hear their memories.

And that's what I love about show biz. That we were in it together.

Thanks Pat. We'll be giving thanks for having you in our lives.

Love,

Xochi

Pat, you are Memorable

Hi Pat,

My friend Teri sent me her son's essay that he wrote last year. Joey's assignment was to write about an event that has influenced his life. He was 15 when he went to your Hollywood Memorial last spring. He hadn't ever met you but my friend Teri, his mom, and the whole family attended. He wrote this in December 2009.

"My Personal Experience" by Joey Prata


My life is full of experiences that have both influenced me and made who I am today. Most of them being good, some of them not so much. But there is one that stands out among the rest of the events and that one would have to be a memorial service I went to over the 2009 spring break. As grim as it may sound, it was actually one of the most joyful mornings I have ever been to. It was the memorial service of a man named Pat Blighmer (ha).

Pat died an old retired light technician for the movie industry. He was married and had lived a long happy life with his friends and family. Some people could say Pat was never ungrateful for the things he did in his day to day life. In fact, Pat was probably the happiest man to walk on this planet. He was known for his silly ways and creative thinking by all who knew him. He played the kazoo and had a favorite top hat that he wore whenever he felt like acting fancy or when he wanted to make someone smile. He came up with ingenious ideas, such as the frustration box. The frustration box was a simple wooden box with a hole drilled into one side. You could scream into it and let frustration die inside. Pat was always the one with the laughs.

Personally, I never actually met this man. I was only brought to the memorial service for him after he had died. My parents told me to dress in shorts and a Hawaiian shirt because we were going to mourn a dead guy and I was struck confused at such a situation. But when I arrived at the service, I saw at least seventy people, all working in some form of the movie industry, dressed in shorts with tall socks and Hawaiian shirts. No one was dressed in dark colors, everyone dressed in bright colors, smiling and having a good time. The only people crying were Pat's wife and 2 daughters. Besides them everyone had dry eyes and gleaming faces. It was as if he was there with them talking about all the fun they had way back when.

The memorial itself was a party to be had. It took place outside in the sun underneath the shady trees on a slightly cloudy day. Exactly what he asked for. The people were all sad but showed only happiness in their faces and hearts.

The memorial began with a video collage of pictures of Pat throughout his life and stopped and started every time people came up to talk. The pictures showed Pat doing crazy things like plowing the snow in shorts and posing with Arnold Schwarzenegger on set and Pat just being Pat.
It was uplifting and almost inspirational to watch. Such a life lived. When people went up to speak, they shared funny stories of Pat and crazy experiences they had with him and how much a difference he made to their lives and how they would keep them in their hearts forever and ever. They told everyone how amazing of a man Pat was and how great of a memory we will have of him.

Sitting there watching all of this, I was almost jealous that I never got a chance to meet this man. But in the end, I got to live his life for an hour or two and saw how great life can be. Pat was an alcoholic for a little time in his life but got over that and lived a happy life. Even through all the crap of life, where it is hard to find the light of joy with all the day to day battles we face, this man discovered the joy and never lost it. he treated each day like a great one, I was told, and after hearing that, that was exactly how I wanted to live my life.

Each day a new page in a blank book which is mine to fill with whatever I want. To be myself and be happy with what I can do. To say "I want to live a life like Pat Blighmer and enjoy life to the fullest". That man is the most influential part of my life.

-----

Pretty Cool, right?

Love,
Xochi

Pat, what it be?

Hello Pat,

We've been putting together a show called "The Inn". As Mom, Patrick and I come up with ideas, we don't have to actually make anything up! There are so many, many incidents, stories, moments that we have remembered. They make us laugh. Although I'm not so sure that the folks who see our show will believe the stories are true. We'll have to add that to the end...all events are true!

Patrick and I and a couple friends are going to shoot up in Eaton next weekend...we thought why not go up and film and have a quick visit too. It'll be fun and we hope to put together a cool preview of what we'd like to create.

Anyhoo...love you, will love being up in Snowville...and I know will be thinking of you more than ever.

Lots of love,
Xochi

Sunday Afternoon Skype to Pat

Nothing Like a nice long Skype chat.

Happy Father's Day - 2010

Dear Pat,
It's been a long time since we spent a Father's Day together but I don't think the one day covered all the thanks I have for you being my dad. Every day deserved a thanks. Sure would be nice to have you here, I could use your help reasoning as to why life is like it is right now and to go over the pros and cons. But I still try to think of what you might say to me. Feel free to try to get your point across from where you are now.

I spoke to a friend of mine the other day who recently lost a loved one, she was worried that he would be forgotten. I've had that same thought but realize that it's not possible, not ever. Besides my own memories, there are so many other people who pop in with a crystal clear moment in time that you put there for them being you.

I think I've posted some of the pictures of our Digby, Nova Scotia family vacation before, but I was looking through some pictures, we had so many family moments that week. I looked through the pictures and laughed at what fun we all had. We didn't do anything big or expensive, we just walked here and there, played games, took pictures, sat and had many meals of course. You bought us all ice cream and baseball hats, we investigated why things were the way they were, pondered the mysteries of life in Digby. That was just a small representation of the times we had together, quality moments.

You listened, you really listened. You didn't put forth your opinions to me until you had the facts and then asked permission to tell me what you thought. You were so smart about the movie business too. I could really use your help to figure out what is going on now, where did I make the wrong turn and how do I get back.

Thanks Pat for being my dad, my friend, my whateveritisineededatthetime.

We all miss you and wish you a happy father's day. I'm having an ice cream in your honor and will probably say "mmm, mmm, mmm, how do they make that taste soooo good".



Love you lots,

Xochi

Happy Father's Day 2010

Happy Birthday Pat! 2010

Happy Birthday Pat!

Thinking of you today and always. I wonder what you're doing today. Perhaps sitting on a cloud, having a big bowl of your favorite ice cream, Ollie sitting by your side. Maybe a great new book to start.

Can you believe that Patrick is now 28? it's fun to look back on the pictures of the days in New Hampshire. Being at Snowvillage Inn was a whole different world, wasn't it? It's been closed down for now, the new owners would like to sell. Mom has a great idea to come up with a show to film up there, the perfect setting. Patrick and I have our thinking caps on now. You'd have some ideas for us, I'm sure and know what we needed to get it done. We were going to have that studio in Ajijic, how about summertime studio in Snowville?

Well, love you Pat, miss you and wishing you the happiest of day.

Love,
Xochi

Oh, Pat, I found your nose warmer

I just had a hunch and sure enough, found this hanging in my coat closet. Where else would it be? Ready for that cold day. Not 100% it's THE one but it's similar. So, imagine Pat's nose in this warmer. Makes me giggle. I still have to find the picture of Pat in it but for now this picture is worth 100 words don't you think?

:)

by the way, it does work. Just trying to take this picture my nose was really warm.

Pat's Half Full Apple Boxes

Hi Pat!

So I was using one of your apple boxes the other day and a friend asked two questions - one was "Who worked on Along Came a Spider" and the other "What is that?" haha. Not many folks have seen a half full apple box. They're used to the half apples, full apples and so on. So I explained about your collection. I'm not sure when you started it but I know that I have here quite a few of them. Not all have show names but I'll bet you could probably name the shows you had someone make them for you on! One has astro turf glued to it probably for no skidding. I've got to say they come in quite handy for most everything as I suspect you knew.

Asking about "Along Came A Spider" made me remember your story of breaking Morgan Freeman...I think that was it. I passed it on. It was cold up in Vancouver so of course you had your nosewarmer handy (yours has the silly pom pom on the end...what am I saying, just the nosewarmer itself is silly...making it doubly silly with the multi colored pom pom). Anyway, I believe the story goes that Morgan claimed that being the actor he was, with great concentration and focus, he couldn't be broken, the whole eye line thing wasn't a problem for him...so you put him to the test...you dragged over your chair near camera and his eye line...you put on your nosewarmer and sat there...sure enough, you caught his eye...and sure enough, you broke him...I'm sure you guys had quite a laugh. How could you not laugh?

I'll have to dig up a picture of you in it. I know I have one somewhere on my computer.

Anyhow, that's the latest of stories I've been telling about you. Funny and memorable as always.

Mom is all settled in Ojai and loving it up there. She was on the search for Carnation Malt...hmmm, do you suppose she's drinking chocolate malts with Ramsey?

Love,
Xochi

PS for those of you wondering about the nose warmers...I crocheted them for the family and friends for Xmas one year - fit over your nose with strings to tie behind your ears...one day they'll catch on. :)

St Patrick's Day 2010

Happy St. Patrick's Day Pat!

Wonder if you're all dressed in green? Think of you all the time, usually laughing about some silly moment. Ted Marshall just wrote a new post of a story from "Day of the Dolphin" and one from "Strange Days". It never stops.

Besides St. Patrick's Day, on the first day of spring your little granddaughter turns 25 years old!! Can you believe that, Brittany here on your back is a beautiful young lady living in New York, working as a nurse. Where have all the years gone, right?

Mom is moving to Ojai next month, she found a little house to rent, yard for Ramsey to run around, library down the street, lots of trees.

Happy Spring, you'd love all the ranunculus blooming here, they make me think of you too.

Love you lots,

Xochi

Happy Valentine's Day Pat

It didn't always have to be February 14th for Pat to celebrate Valentine's Day! Anytime, anywhere.

Love,
Xochi

Pat, you always made us laugh

Here's a mini story about a day in the life of Pat:

Back in the early 70's we all went off to the Bahamas because Pat was working on "The Day of the Dolphin"...Mom has recently been seeing the commercial saying "It's Better in the Bahamas"...and so she flashed back to those days:

"And it reminded me about Pat one day taking one of those sun ray little boats out to a sand bar, or was it a little island.
It was low tide. He could walk back, but the tide came in and a couple of his crew members had to go out and rescue him. It was very funny. It makes me laugh when I think about it. He always made me laugh. Love Mom"

Amazing way to spend a few months of my childhood on a small island in the Bahamas...so many funny stories, so many characters Pat had working with him too.

:)

Xochi

Pat! It's National Kazoo Day!

Hi Pat,

Guess what? Today is National Kazoo Day. You probably knew that. I saw today that the kazoo was invented in America and it was suggested that it becomes the official national musical instrument of the United States. I'll bet you'd vote for that since you are the ultimate kazoo player!

Your pal Danny del Rossi has named you the unofficial King of the Kazoo. :) I don't think anyone would think differently.

You know Pat, no matter how much time goes by, the stories about you from people who have crossed your paths still keep coming...and I'm always amazed how clear the memories are...like they just saw you, and that particular moment just happened. Crystal Clear.

Here's one from my Kazoo post today:

Jack Cummings - "Great.. I read up on some of the tribute postings you had of your dad after I wrote you to say I remember him from the "Monkees" credits.. He seemed like a great guy.. a real character, which i mean as a compliment.
I'm 54.. and seem to run into very few really colorful people these days.. Everyone's nice... but somewhat ordinary." (Jack lives near the last kazoo factory in Buffalo, NY, the metal ones of course)

We saw Gary Busey last week - he remembered you as the most positive person, arriving on the set of Grasslands (Hex) making some comment of how great it was to be alive. He had a great imitation of you with your arms flung out, bigger than life, it was perfect!

I had an email that I just found from a friend of yours, Suzi, your classmate from high school, 1956! She said she spent time with you because her husband roomed with you in Washington, DC 1956-57. I'm waiting for some more stories from her but here's one she told, as she described you as my hilarious and crazy dad.

She said "You are fortunate to have a Dad that lied to get his first gaffer job in Hollywood. He said he did this type of work in Beckley, West Virginia. We all laughed as this type of work was NEVER in West Virginia! Your father came from a funny Mom & Pop too"

I saw Brian Frankish at the DGA a couple weeks ago...he saw me, reintroduced himself and started in on stories of the Matt and Pat team and all the fun and crazy things you did way back when commercials and features.

So you see...you made your mark, wonder if you knew.

Love you lots,

Xochi