Keep Me In Your Heart for a While - New Year's 2012

Dear Pat,

I was walking this afternoon past a store and a lady about my age came out holding hands with a man about 80 years old...as they walked in front of me, he turned, smiled broadly and let me walk past. As I did she seemed to need to explain (Dad may be fading) and said "Dad is still a gentleman, he likes to let the ladies go first and I turned to look and smile at him once again and he still had the biggest grin on his face and they continued to hold hands as they walked along. It was perfect to see them.

I was listening to a song today that made me think of you and our time together. It's called "Keep me in your heart for a while". It's both a sad and happy song and for certain, I've kept you in my heart as I hope you have me.

It's been almost three years since I talked to you and saw you and I miss you just as much on days like today. But I know I had what these two today have. As I looked through my pictures, I'm reminded.

Here's the words to the song "Keep me in your heart for awhile"

Shadows are falling and I'm running out of breath
Keep me in your heart for awhile

If I leave you it doesn't mean I love you any less
Keep me in your heart for awhile

When you get up in the morning and you see that crazy sun
Keep me in your heart for while

There's a train leaving nightly called when all is said and done
Keep me in your heart for while

Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-li-li-lo
Keep me in your heart for while

Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-li-li-lo
Keep me in your heart for while

Sometimes when you're doing simple things around the house
Maybe you'll think of me and smile

You know I'm tied to you like the buttons on your blouse
Keep me in your heart for while

Hold me in your thoughts, take me to your dreams
Touch me as I fall into view
When the winter comes keep the fires lit
And I will be right next to you

Engine driver's headed north to Pleasant Stream
Keep me in your heart for while

These wheels keep turning but they're running out of steam
Keep me in your heart for while

Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-li-li-lo
Keep me in your heart for while

Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-li-li-lo
Keep me in your heart for while

Keep me in your heart for while


I tip my hat to you my very best friend and father. Love to you as 2012 begins.

Miss you,

Xochi

Thanksgiving 2011

Hi Pat,

Thanksgiving this year was a gathering of the Blymyer, Bates, Rinck, Baggerly and Zuckerman clans...from Waltham, Tucson, Hermosa Beach, Venice, Hollywood, Ojai and North Hollywood (I lucked out cause we met in Sherman Oaks). We had a great dinner, some laughs and some reflecting on years gone by.

As always, when bringing up Thanksgivings from the past, the ole tofurkey story was told, one of our favorite tortured Thanksgiving afternoons. It all started when Laurie's friend invited you, me, Laurie and Patrick to dinner. We arrived in time to visit and share a drink and a few snacks but were looking forward to our meal. You, Pat, being the vegetarian had requested to try the Tofurkey, the rest of us thought that would be disgusting and would be having the regular turkey. Well, many hours later...I'm talking many hours later...Laurie's friend was drunk, our turkey was still raw and you were happily eating your Tofurkey with it's little cut out leg. It was a very long afternoon. There's a lot more to the story but Patrick and I especially remember the three of us planning our escape unsuccessfully.

You were missed here at the table. I'd love to be sharing a Tofurkey with you right now, even if it is gross.

Lots of love,

Xochi

Gaffer in his chair.

Hello Pat!

How are you? I got a reminder last night when I met with an old friend of yours, Anthony. He truly admired you and your encouraging ways. He said you had a way to talk to others that always helped them over the bump in their path without making a big deal about it. He reminded me how you were so smart but in the disguise of someone who was silly and kind - but always encouraging to those who could use an extra hand. A word that made life just a little better for that moment.

As I was talking about what my future might be, to get it moving forward, he was mentioning that I certainly had a wonderful pied piper to follow...and that is you.

I don't know, maybe that why I'm able to be awake at 6A this morning without feeling tired?

Mom and I are moving forward, rewriting "The Inn" and "A Disturbing Presence" - I read the other day a poster that you'd like. It says "If you don't go after what you want, you'll never have it. If you don't ask, the answer is always no. If you don't step forward, you're always in the same place." Learning to ask. It ain't easy! And just plain trying to learn new things, like writing, producing! Gotta Grin Pictures...what do you think?

Let's see...my show I was on was cancelled but was fun while it lasted...you would have loved Gio, the DP. He was a gaffer...every once in a while when something was done that was not even close to what he wanted, he would look over to me and say "Your dad would be horrified right now". It was pretty funny. I'll look forward to working with him on another show.

Mom is great up in Ojai...she had a surprise visit by Norman Lang the other day who now also lives in Ojai...the laughed and laughed as you can imagine.

Moving forward, asking, going after it...following the pied piper who is you, Pat.

Love,
Xochi

By the way, this picture was on the back patio in Ajijic, Mexico - Mom editing her book and Pat I think you were telling us what the birds were talking about...some gossip probably.

Thank for the Birthday gifts Pat. xxoo

Dear Pat,

I received in the mail today this letter you once wrote to Prish and Russ. I can read your writing but if others cannot, here’s what you wrote so long ago, it’s the perfect birthday gift:

“Howdy you all,

Here’s the dealee bob – Hope all is well. It is sure good to get a little work, this has been about the slowest year work that I can remember. Hopefully I can work from now till the end of the year and then some to make up for it. For now, it’s one day at a time. In fact, that’s all we ever have anyway and if we learn to live that way we are much better off. I’ll talk 2U or CU soon. Duutz.” (One of Pat’s many alias’)

Wow…if that wasn’t signed Duutz, that letter could have been written by me BECAUSE Here’s the dealee bob…

I did finally land a show last month as a 1^st AD called Free Agents (after about the slowest year of work I can remember, except for the year before), it’s a comedy, I think you’d have fun on this set…and you know what, it has not only been exactly what I needed, it’s been such a pleasure meeting more people with more stories for me. When they learn I am a Blymyer, they smile and welcome me with open arms. How great is that to be greeted by strangers as though they’ve known me all my life? And you know what? They have known of me all my life because of you.

The gifts of memories keep on coming.

First my producer…he made the connection in my interview and he smiled and said something like “Wow, so you’re a Blymyer, Pat was one of the best”. He calls me “Blymyer” every once in a while.

Then there is Austin, our Transportation Coordinator. He said “Let me tell you a little story…we were shooting in Lake Piru and one day at lunch, Pat came out of a local bar…and he said ‘I just bought this bar!’ So Austin, knowing Pat had had quite a few drinks, found the location manager and explained what had transpired…apparently, with a little investigation, he found out that Pat had written a $25,000.00 check to the bar owner as a down payment on the bar! We let Pat sweat it out for a couple days and then the location manager gave him back his check and said they deal had been called off!” He wasn’t sure if Mom ever knew and Austin says he has more stories. I’ll have to get from him sometime.

And then there is Joy, the hairdresser…her face also lit up when she found out that I was Ginger and Pat’s daughter. She’s was so happy! She immediately started to describe this invention that you had shown her one day on the set. She said there was this box and it was something you screamed into and she almost remembered the name of it, she was describing it to all the people around us and telling them about you…it was the ITR she was describing, the Inaudible Tension Reliever!

And then I received this email just the other day from Robert, a 1^st AD that I finally met last year and got to work for a few weeks with…he talked fondly of you and said one day he’d write me a story about you for me. Little did I know, his story was about you talking about me to him too. Here it is:

“I had the pleasure of working with Pat a few years ago. Though his weathered visage gave the impression of the usual hardened and jaded crew member, Pat never ceased to surprise and amaze me with his sensitivity and insight.

He mentioned he had a daughter who was an A.D. I braced myself for a gratuitous solicitation but it never came. He said she was really one of the best and that I should meet her. Then he paused, as if reflecting on how proud he was of her and how much he cared for her. I remember him in that moment of reflection. Then he looked up and said, "Yeah, she's great." and carried on with his work.

Since then I've followed Xochi's career trying several times to hire her but it seems the best are never available. I finally succeeded and we worked together briefly on an ill-fated project. In that short time I came to appreciate her calm, thoughtful and cheerful demeanor. Pat was right. She's the best. She's a Blymyer. I look forward to working with her again.

Robert “

Wow…I know you loved me but to hear someone else tell me how much he knew you cared for me, who remembers from so many years ago how you described me, it’s a true gift you left for me, really.

I’m proud to be a Blymyer.

You know, it’s my birthday or birth week as you thought we should have more than a day and I think this new year is going to be a truly amazing one.

I’ve thought about you more than ever these past few weeks, how could I not, you are everywhere! How lucky am I to always cross paths with those who have crossed yours?

Of course, that’s not the end of today’s note…a couple more tidbits.

I spent time with one of your best pals last weekend, Warren…and the Bateman family, yet more of our extended family.

And Mom is almost ready to run her marathon (okay, maybe just ready to take a nice long walk with Ramsey) after her knee surgery! I can hear you say “Bubbs, you are amazing”. You’d be very proud of how well she’s doing.

Love you Pat. And thank you. One day at a time.

Xochi

8/17/11

Happy Father's Day Pat. 2011

Hi Pat and Happy Father's Day.

Just recently we got to watch a DVD of Tom and Tanya's wedding (Danielle found it in a box full of memories). It was just their anniversary the other day. The wedding DVD was filled with not only some great 80's outfits and hairdos but with so many Father moments. You walked Tanya down the aisle and gave her away, you danced the father/daughter dance, subjected yourself to many, many photos and looked very handsome in your tuxedo - even with your sneakers on... of course you were really the most practical shoe wise as the ground was damp and we all had mud on our dress shoes!

As we watched, we remembered. Thank you for all the father moments. There are far too many to ever list.

Love you and miss you. Happy Father's Day.

Love,

Xochi

Happy Birthday Pat, May 20th, 2011

Dear Pat,

Happy Birthday to you. It's going to be a beautiful day here, perfect for a birthday walk. Thinking about you today as I do each day and hoping you're laughing.

Never short on stories about you but seem to be short on words today.

"Be brief", as you might say if I were on the phone with you.

Happy Birthday, love you lots.

Xochi

Fax & Note Man

So, I was going through a box in the attic and came across a stack of faxes & notes from Pat. Funny. There's a reason I saved many of his notes. Mostly, they made me smile and still do. His handwriting was one of a kind. When we both had fax machines, he loved to fax jokes, notes, sometimes it was truly just to say "I love you" and send me a quote to remember. As you can see here, this was one of his original aliases, Otto. If he stopped by my house, he'd always leave a note. He made endless lists and then loved scratching out things he had accomplished...and then he'd make another list. ha.

So Pat, thanks for all the notes. Love you lots.

Xochi

Happy St. Patrick's Day 2011

Happy St. Patrick's Day, Pat.
Missing you on this beautiful spring day.
Love, Xochi

Happy Valentine's Day Mom and Pat

Hi Pat,

Happy Valentine's Day. I love this Skype picture of you and Mom. You two were always so silly trying to fit in to the picture when we talked. Fun to catch a few of those moments!

As I've written before, you always did cute special things, it didn't have to be Valentine's day. Mom will have her walk-in bathtub ready at her house in a few days - imagine Mom without a hot bath for almost two years! Often there were the evenings that you would run the bath for her and sometimes you would add rose petals to float or bubbles and that glass of wine. Just because. Pretty neat. You may not be here for the christening of this bathtub but Mom will surely think of you when she's soaking in the bubbles.

So, here's wishing you many rose petals on your walking path today. Don't slip.

Love,

Xochi

Two Years Ago - January 5, 2009

Hi Pat,

It's hard to believe it's been two years since we spoke. Although I've had conversations with you in my head many times. You've been missed. I can hear you deny that but it's true.

You'll be happy to know that Mom is doing amazing. Despite her aches and pains and eye problems, she has learned her new Mac computer, been writing away on a script for The Inn, been blogging, facebooking, keeping up her place in Ojai and hanging out with Ramsey. She gets on the road when she needs to, would love to have you here to cook for again as you appreciated those meals the most but all in all, it's good.

This is what Mom/Bubbs/Ging wrote for you today:

"You have always been, are now, and always will be. There has never been a time when you were not - nor will there ever be such a time. Thinking about Pat yesterday and today. It is a mystery isn't it? When I think, I shed a few tears and that feels okay. Even though time has passed there are also times when we all miss Pat. It is nice that he left so much love of himself behind. Love Mom"

I'm not sure what you'd think of where I am in life right now. Limbo it seems. Each time an opportunity has come along this past year, it has evaporated. I try to come up with advice that you might tell me but haven't yet figured it out what you'd say. I do know you'd tell me to walk on it and then we'd talk it out. Perhaps it's time for a long walk in honor of you.

With the new year, we'll continue to tell stories that make us laugh and remember you, you're never far no matter where you are.

Love you.

Xochi